Adverse Childhood Experiences
& Trauma Informed Relationship Building 

Trauma Informed Relationship Building

Trauma-Informed Practice and Distance Relationships for Vermont Mentors 
led by Alex Shevrin Venet
 In June 2020, Mentor Vermont hosted an online training for Vermont mentors. Here are a few take-aways from the training and discussion. 
  • ​Alex defined trauma as 'an exceptional experience in which powerful and dangerous events overwhelm a person's capacity to cope. 
  • She suggested rephrasing "bad behavior' as "stress behavior'
  • She reminded us that as adults, we can help build resilience as a community through our intentional relationships with youth.
As mentors, we are in a position to help youth access skills and ideas. She suggested keeping these four priorities in mind when engaging with our mentees: Predictability, Flexibility, Connection & Empowerment. 

Predictability: 
  • Set routines for when you meet up with and leave your mentee.
  • Respond to your mentee in a predictable way - having clear boundaries about who you are and what your role is will help with this. 
​Flexibility: 
  • Remember, predictability does not mean rigidity.
  • Be flexible with yourself and your mentee when things don't go according to plan.
  • Check in with yourself, your mentee and your program coordinator along the way to explore what flexibility means for you and your mentee. 
​Connection:
  • Focus on building your friendship with your mentee doing things you both enjoy and remember to have fun.
  • Help be a connection maker for your mentee when you can. Connections with new people and ideas will help your mentee now and into the future.
​Empowerment:
  • Sharing decision making - as the adult ask yourself, "What do I really need to be in charge of?"
  • Too much choice can also be overwhelming - so offer a few options when making a plan for your mentoring time. 
  • Drop power struggles. 
  • Practice and model consent by giving youth the opportunity to opt in or opt out of a plan. 
To learn more about Alex Shevrin Venet visit: Twitter: @AlexSVenet & Instagram: @UnconditionalLearning
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES)
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) are potentially traumatic events that occur in childhood and can include:
  • Experiencing violence, abuse, or neglect
  • Witnessing violence in the home or community
  • Having a family member attempt or die by suicide
ACEs can also include growing up in a household with:
  • Substance misuse
  • Mental health problems
  • Instability due to poverty, parental separation or household members being in jail or prison

We Can Prevent ACES

Watch this Center For Disease Control Video on how communities can come together to improve outcomes for kids.
Mentoring is one very important piece of the puzzle
ACEs can be prevented. Not everyone who experiences ACEs will go on to have poor health outcomes. Preventing ACEs can help children and adults thrive and possibly:
  • Lower risk for health conditions like depression, asthma, cancer, and diabetes in adulthood.
  • Reduce risky behaviors like smoking and heavy drinking.
  • Improve education and employment potential.
  • Stop ACEs from being passed from one generation to the next.
Promoting awareness of ACEs is key. Helping others learn about ACEs can:
  • Change how people think about the causes of ACEs and who could help prevent them.
  • Shift the focus from individual responsibility to community solutions.
  • Reduce shame around getting help with parenting challenges or for substance misuse, depression, or suicidal thoughts.
  • Promote safe, stable, nurturing relationships and environments where children live, learn, and play.

*content taken from the CDC website